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Thursday, December 11, 2014

Don't talk about her body, and don't talk about yours.

I'm going to drop some knowledge on you, I love the Victoria's Secret Fashion LOVE it.  I watch it every year, and it is one of my favorite parts of the holiday season.  That being said, with the wrong commentary, it can also be an incredibly uncomfortable experience.  As you probably know, the show aired this past Tuesday on CBS and it was glorious.  The performances were stellar, the costumes were unbelievable, and all the models looked fantastic.  Now do you notice that I said fantastic?  I didn't say that they looked thin, or disgustingly skinny, or that their bodies were "bangin'", or that they should eat a cheeseburger.  I didn't say any of those things because positive or negative, commenting on another woman's body or on your own body is NEVER appropriate and only furthers a culture of negative body image.
Now I understand that there are many problems within the fashion and entertainment industries that put the health of models and girls everywhere at risk, but any and all comments on the way their bodies look only makes it worse.  I think sometimes we assume it's okay to say positive things about women with more voluptuous figures and to say negative things about women with thin figures, but that is NOT acceptable.  When you voice negative comments about thin women (body of a twelve year old boy comes to mind), you are alienating a group of women and telling them they don't belong.  When you comment that said woman is so thin and that you wish you had her "thigh gap" (a horrendous new trending topic) you only further our society's preoccupation with achieving a "perfect" form. 
Instead of thinking about or discussing the way our bodies look, let's instead think in terms of health and comfort.  Are you healthy?  Do you feel comfortable in your own skin?  These are questions that are actually worth considering.  The worst question in the world is "Do I look fat in this?"  Do not ask this question, the answer will never be relevant to the actual question at hand: "Do I feel comfortable in this?", which only you can answer.   
Don't misunderstand me, I think it's acceptable and should be encouraged to compliment yourself and your peers, it's the way you do so that is important.  If your friend has set out to become healthier and she's looking great.  Tell her she looks great, fantastic, healthy; but don't tell her she looks skinnier and that you're jealous of her collarbones.  Because a) that's weird, and b) now everyone in the conversation is preoccupied over their body image.  Let yourself be more than your body, and give everyone else (including VS models) that same right.

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